source: Bob Greene from Oprah

-Fad diets distort the true meaning of the word “diet,” which is simply the foods you eat. Diet should not mean what it has come to mean, which is a temporary way of eating for a temporary result.

-Fad diets lack nutritional value. Bob says the fad diet his colleagues followed was “nutritionally void,” and lacked calcium, fiber and whole grains, among other things.

-Oftentimes, fad diets are too high in sodium. The diet he critiqued included high-sodium crackers with no nutritional value.

-Fad diets are often too low in calories. Bob says he’d rather see an individual exercising more and upping their caloric intake instead of depriving themselves.

-Fad diets rely on gimmicks, rather than common sense. Hot dogs and ice cream served as the hook for this particular diet, both of which Bob says should only be eaten sparingly.

-The pounds you lose on a fad diet are mostly water weight.

-You can’t reasonably stay on a fad diet for an extended period of time. They’ll work temporarily, but you can’t live this way

The only way to know for sure if someone you know is being abused is to ask. One of the common myths about battered women is that they don’t want to talk about their victimization. While many do make efforts to hide the battering, they often do so because they fear being embarrassed, their partner finding out, being blamed, not being believed, or being pressured to do something they’re not ready or able to do. What you should do: Believe her. And let her know that you do. If you know her partner, remember that batterers most often behave differently in public than they do in private.

Listen to what she tells you.

If you actively listen, ask clarifying questions and avoid making judgments and giving advice. You will most likely learn directly from her what it is she needs.

Build on her strengths.

Actively identify the ways in which she has developed coping strategies, solved problems and exhibited courage and determination, even if her efforts have not been completely successful. Help her to build on these strengths.

Validate her feelings.

It is common for women to have conflicting feelings—love and fear; guilt and anger; hope and sadness. Let her know that her feelings are normal and reasonable.

Avoid victim-blaming.

Tell her that the abuse is not her fault. Reinforce that the abuse is her partner’s problem and his responsibility. However, refrain from “bad-mouthing” him.

Take her fears seriously.

If you are concerned about her safety, express your concern without judgment. Simply say, “Your situation sounds dangerous and I’m concerned about your safety.”

Offer help.

When it’s appropriate, offer specific forms of help and information. If she asks you to do something you’re willing and able to do, do it. If you can’t or don’t want to, say so and help her identify other ways to have that need met.

Be an active, creative partner in her safety-planning effort.

The key to planning is to take the problem, consider the full range of available options, evaluate the risks and benefits of different options, and identify ways to reduce the risks.

Support her decisions.

Remember that there are risks attached to every decision a battered woman makes. If you truly want to be helpful, be patient and respectful of her decisions.

What you should not do:

If you think a woman you know is being abused, don’t wait for her to come to you. If she does confide in you, don’t judge or blame her or her decisions—even if you don’t agree with them. Don’t pressure her into acting if she’s not ready. Don’t offer advice if it’s not appropriate, and don’t put conditions on your support of her.

Source: Oprah.com

Recognizing what behaviors are part of domestic violence is not always easy, even for victims themselves. This is, in part, because domestic violence is much more than physical abuse. In fact, many battered women who are controlled by their partners and who live in danger and fear have never been physically assaulted.
Understanding what domestic violence is means being aware of the many different things abusers do to control their partners. The following checklist of behaviors may help you decide if you or someone you know is being abused.Understanding what domestic violence is means being aware of the many different things abusers do to control their partners. The following checklist of behaviors may help you decide if you or someone you know is being abused.

Does your partner…

Use emotional and psychological control?

- Call you names, yell, put you down, make racial or homophobic slurs, or constantly criticize or undermine you and your abilities as a wife, partner or mother?

- Behave in an overprotective way or become extremely jealous?

- Make it difficult for you to see family and friends, or “bad-mouth” your family and friends?

- Prevent you from going where you want to, when you want to, and with whomever you want to?

- Humiliate or embarrass you in front of other people?

Use economic control?

- Deny you access to family assets like bank accounts, credit cards or a car?

- Control all the finances, force you to account for what you spend or take your money?

- Prevent you from getting or keeping a job or from going to school?

- Limit your access to health, prescription and/or dental insurance?

Make threats?

- Threaten to report you to the authorities (the police, courts or child protective services) for something you didn’t do?

- Threaten to harm or kidnap the children?

- Make you afraid by using looks, actions or gestures?

- Display weapons as a way of making you afraid or directly threaten you with weapons?

- Use anger or “loss of temper” as a threat to get you to do what he wants?

- Threaten to expose your sexual orientation to friends, family or employer, if you are gay or lesbian?

- Threaten to report you to INS or immigration?

Commit acts of physical violence?

- Carry out threats to hurt you, your children, pets, family members, friends or himself?

- Destroy personal property or throw things around?

- Grab, push, hit, punch, slap, kick, choke or bite you?

- Force you to have sex when you don’t want to or to engage in sexual acts that you don’t want to do?

- Prevent you from taking medications or getting medical care?

- Deny you access to food, fluids or sleep?

These are some of the most common tactics used by abusers to control their partners, they are but certainly not the only ones. If your partner does things that restrict your personal freedom or make you afraid, you may be a victim of domestic violence.

Source: Oprah